I'm not a rambler...

It's true, I'm not a rambler, I'm a SCIENTIST, cos I investigate the existence of the Yeti. I have made up my mind that Yetis exist and so I play with the condemning evidence to prove it cos I want to believe it, since that is what scientists to. I don't really have to investigate though, cos I already know they exist, when I was exiled from San Francisco for not liking rice-a-roni (long story) I had to move to the Himalayas and there I met and married one, her name was Martha, and I was madly in love with her. <3

I was so much in love that even after a hard day's work as an exhibit at the Yeti's Exotic Animals Zoo, cos they never let me out of my cage till midnight after all the Yetis went home, I never really liked that job too much sometimes it was fun singing Magical Trevor to make the little yeti kiddies laugh but sometimes they would just get mad and throw rocks at me, I ate a rock once but they didn't give me any pepper with it and I don't know how in the heck you can eat a rock without pepper soooooooo disgusting, sorta like the time Martha game my mom that fruitcake for Christmas and when she ate it she had a heart attack and died but Martha threw a little pepper up her nose that made her come to life again, so pepper is the magical cure-all, go figure, Martha didn't seem to like it though when I put pepper in the flowers I was telling you about that I brought her after a long hard day's work at the zoo, and she got so mad and she yelled "I HATE YOU YOUR A TERRIBLE HUSBAND AND I DONT WANT MY CHILDREN TO BE RAISED BY SUCH A [words bleeped for the kiddies] AND IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS IM LEAVING!!!"

='(


This is Martha. I loved her so much.




I still love her, even though she left me and took the kids, said something about going off to live with her old old college flame the chupaca...chuapca...goatsucker in Brazil. Yeah that's right, it sounds astonishing but true: we had kids.

Our son, Hezekiah:





and our girl, Mary Sue:






So that's basically it. I'm a newly divorced 30 yr old guy, looking to find love again, and to prove the existence of Yetis so I can legally take my ex-wife to court and get partial custody of our babies, its kinda hard to sue a Yeti that doesnt even legally exist yet. =/

Oh yeah, and I like pickles. Zucchini pickles suck, but Cucumber pickles rock. Sorry, I just had to say it.